above: Adding a fun element, like caricature place cards, encourages guests to interact and strike up conversation
Lauren Grafer Schweibold of Madison Events reveals the flourishes and secret ingredients that turn parties into unforgettable celebrations
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, red and white roses, amaryllis, poinsettias and ivy … . These are a few of Lauren Grafer Schweibold’s favorite things when it comes to holiday décor. But the Madison Events’ founder says the elements most people stress about when planning parties—menu, venue, decorations—are not necessarily what will make them memorable. Lauren, with 25 years of event planning experience, has a knack for formulating the touches that elevate her fêtes from lovely to unforgettable.
On the day she invited us into her home (and mind) to explore the wonders there, it happened to be the Fourth of July. Like many entrepreneurs (especially those who love what they do), Lauren’s work seeps into her calendar on most days and into her creative consciousness in most moments, so the holiday was fair game for an interview. It was also the day her husband, Andrew, who works in private equity, swims in the relay races at their club. He is a former swimmer, so he easily blows the competition out of the water. It’s like that with Lauren; the DIY party planners are doggy paddlers to her sleek butterfly. But we are here to uncover some of her secrets to put you a few lengths ahead—and, of course, clue you in on what to expect if you enlist Madison Events to plan your next party.
Born to Host
If you hire Lauren, her first step will be getting to know you, so we will extend the same courtesy to Lauren. Not surprisingly, her fashion flair offers as delicious a visual feast as her party designs. Her floor-length sundress, in cream and periwinkle blue, features a design that at once evokes Versailles and poolside at the country club. A chunky cardigan and gold jewelry convey a woman casually in charge, and the ensemble melds perfectly with her living room’s elegant cream-toned decor and her makeup-free, sun-kissed beauty.
While gesturing around her stunning, backcountry Greenwich home, she readily admits, “We had a designer for this. I can design a party, but a house? Whole different ball game!” Minus a tricycle by the front walk, there is no sign that a three-, seven- and nine-year-old inhabit the immaculate house.
Lauren grew up in Long Island, where she loved planning parties even as a kid. “I was always hosting and planning everybody’s birthdays or parties,” she says. “My mom was always a hostess, making sure everyone was happy. She never sits down. That’s what makes her happy. I feel the same way. I just want everybody to be enjoying themselves and having a wonderful time and be taken care of.”
Lauren majored in communications at Villanova and minored in psychology, “which is helpful in dealing with some clients,” she notes with a chuckle. Lauren landed an event planning job at Bear Stearns right out of college. “They gave you a lot of responsibility at a young age. So I was trained really well, working with some super high-profile people,” she says. After about five years, she moved to Keefe, Bruyette & Woods, where she started an event group.
“After 13 or 14 years in finance, I felt like I was missing some meaning in what I was doing,” she continues. She had always done pro bono nonprofit work on the side and is a lifelong animal lover, so her next step: the Humane Society. “I was there for five years, planning their galas and fundraisers,” says Lauren, “and I created a small group of young professionals to raise money for an anti-puppy mill initiative.” To this day, Lauren continues her commitment to animal welfare, with ten dogs rescued for every event she plans (see sidebar).
Incidentally, a dog was key to finding her husband. “We met in a dumpy bar in the Hamptons. You say ‘the Hamptons’ and people think, Oh, how fancy. No, this was like a dirty bar on the side of the road in Amagansett,” says Lauren. “My rescue dog at the time rolled over for him. I think she just sort of sensed a good person, and that was that.”
In 2016, Lauren officially launched Madison Events. The couple had also started a family, and by 2018 they had a second baby on the way. They ventured out to Greenwich in search of more space, and in the process Lauren found a wealth of new clients.
Spirits Bright
“I’m very hands-on. I like to find what makes somebody tick and what they are looking for to create joy,” says Lauren. “This is why the psychology background helps. For each event I look to find: What is going to make this incredible for you and make you and your guests really happy? A lot of people can do logistics and organize things. But it comes down to how do we make this unique and special?”
When Lauren conceptualizes a tablescape, for example, she isn’t just thinking about what will be prettiest, she is looking for elements that make people talk about it, interact with one another and remember it. She did an elegant Midsummer Night’s Dream-themed 80th birth-day party with “cascading florals coming down over the tables. The mother, who was turning 80, saw it and started crying. She was so touched,” says Lauren. “That’s my favorite thing—seeing the joy in people’s faces when they walk in and then, throughout the night, being celebrated.”
Sometimes the magical memorable factor is a surprise entertainer. Lauren recounts a 40th birthday that was the talk of the town: “It was so elegant and stunning. We took Fat Poodle in Old Greenwich, cleared it out and re-set it up as this big lounge that looked almost black tie.
After the food and drinks, we had Cher the drag queen come in. People literally were texting me after seeing it on social media, asking how I got Cher to Greenwich!”
Lauren is a huge theater fan and enlisted Broadway star Liam Pearce to do a surprise number at her husband’s birthday party.
“My husband’s a massive introvert who doesn’t like big parties, and yet I throw him a birthday party every year,” says Lauren. “He’s like, ‘What are you doing!’ I threw him a dinner party for his 40th. Liam was walking around pretending to be a waiter.” At one point in the festivities, the dashing Romeo from Broadway’s &Juliet burst into song. “I had him sing our wedding song,” Lauren recounts. “The words were changed to basically make fun of Andrew. Liam beautifully sang this hilarious roast version of the song.”
Madison Events handles a mix of personal clients—birthday fêtes (kids and adults), baby showers, bar and bat mitzvahs, anniversaries, destination weddings and corporate events, plus fundraisers and galas in the nonprofit world. Philanthropist Amanda Hearst com-ments, “I’ve worked on hundreds of events with an array of planners, and Lauren is by far my favorite. She is a direct, to-the-point communicator, who not only proposes strong, creative ideas but executes flawlessly without a lot of direction. It also helps that she is
very well connected, which makes organizing an event with her that much easier!” Actress/singer Vanessa Williams notes Lauren’s “incredible talent” in creating a perfect celebration, and says, “The tone and ambience was reflective of our family.”
When planning lead time on an event, clients should consider if they’ll need a venue. “In that case, we need to plan six to eight months ahead,” says Lauren, who has a team of top-tier consultants—all women—who assist her, depending on the size and scope of an event. “If a client wants to do a party in their home, I’ve done events in two weeks, but it’s not ideal; six to eight weeks would be more typical.” She also has pulled off a wedding in four weeks. “It’s stressful but possible. You have to make decisions really quickly,” she says.
Table Talk
With the holidays just around the corner, Lauren shared some tips on making your festive gathering one that all the guests remember.’
“If you’re going to do it yourself, think about getting people to interact and laugh and find the joy—so, whatever that is for you,” says Lauren. “I did one party that was so elegant and sophisticated, but then everybody had to wear an ugly Christmas outfit. I like doing the combination of a very high-end, elegant event but having fun involved and making people talk.
I have put question cards under each place setting for guests to ask their neighbor either a deep or funny question. Find something to get people engaged with one another.”
While flowers, table settings and the venue are important elements, Lauren emphasizes: “What’s memorable is the interaction or, you know, an ability to laugh.” She has also done name tags with a fun fact about each person and place cards that featured caricatures of the guests. “Everybody was laughing and discussing: Does this look like me? Does it not look like me? Find something that gets people talking,” says Lauren, “especially if not everybody knows each other very well.”
A “white elephant” gift exchange is also fun.Guests each bring a gift (often a gag gift) and draw numbers to establish the order of who chooses and unwraps gifts from the anonymous collection or steals from a neighbor. Kids also love this game. For children, Lauren advises: “activities that keep them busy—holiday-themed art stations, a dance floor with holiday music, cookie-making and obviously Santa.”
As far as current food and décor trends, Lauren says, “Less formal seating and more heavy
passed food. Again, having people interact as opposed to sitting down and ending up in a food coma after a three-hour dinner. I have a lot of clients now that have cocktails with heavy passed appetizers, then guests sit down for the entrée, and then you do a cool dessert station, whether it’s cakes in a jar or a donut wall or an ice cream station—something where people are up again and interacting.”
Speaking of cocktails, Lauren mentions, “Greenwich loves tequila, but holiday-wise people love eggnog.” Non-alcoholic drinks are also in vogue. “People are trying to take care of themselves,” she says. “Sometimes I do a non-alcoholic tasting bar.”
For décor, no surprises here: green and red! “I’m doing a wedding in November with just greenery with red roses,” says Lauren, whose work has been featured in Brides magazine. She emphasizes that holiday food and decor largely stay the same, but what makes an event “fun, different, personalized and gets guests to interact” matters most.
Puppy Love
A lifelong animal advocate, Lauren ties rescues into her work and life
For every event Lauren plans, the longtime dog lover donates to the SPCA in Westchester. The organization uses the funds to transport and vet dogs that are brought up from the South, where dogs are less likely to be adopted and more likely to be euthanized. Ten furry friends per event benefit from Lauren’s generosity. “I used to foster and walk dogs at shelters and help out, and I’ll help find people animals. But, you know, three kids and a job—you’re a little busy. So, now at least I can financially help them.”
The need is tremendous. “There’s a huge issue with rescues—millions being euthanized every year—and in the South, it’s an even heavier issue,” says Lauren. “There are a lot of adoptable dogs (and puppies and kittens), and if they make it up to the Northeast to a nice shelter like the SPCA and people can go meet them, they’re more likely to get adopted.”
Lauren adds, “There are so many ways people can help. It’s not only financial.
I spent a couple months there, going and walking the dogs, because when they get some energy out and are less stressed, they’re calmer around potential adopters. The shelter environment is very stressful for animals. You can help with adoption events, administrative stuff—they’ll take any help they can get! During Covid, I had my kids making homemade dog treats to drop off, so that I could explain to them what the issue was.”
The family has two dogs, Oreo (a toy Australian shepherd) and Lily (a hound mix). “Lily is a foster fail that we just fell in love with, and she had to stay,” says Lauren. “Fostering is another way to help. That saves so many lives. I’ve fostered many, many dogs, and then they get adopted because when they’re in a shelter environment, again, they’re very stressed out. When they’re in a home and they meet a potential adopter, they’re much calmer and better behaved. It’s an incredible way to save lives.”