Unlike the movie, The Hangover, the job of a best man is much more than throwing an epic bachelor party that he will never forget. Today both the bride and groom play an important part in creating, planning and executing the big day. Your job as the best man is to act as the support team, the wing man to your friend. He has chosen you among all his friends to stand by him on this most important life moment. Here are our top tips for ensuring you will be the best man a guy could ever ask for.
1. Get in Early
From the moment you are tapped as the "best" man, you define your role. In the beginning a place to unburden his thoughts in a private place may be all he needs. Parties can range from getting together for a beer to the full blown infamous "bachelor's Party" that can range from a raucous dinner to a weekend of activities that bond for life.
2. Help him get on the "Best Dressed List"
Although this is the domain of the bride, encouragement is always a good thing. His bride may ask him what he wants to wear, and you can help guide behind the scene! If it's a formal wedding, he will want to be polished with modern elements. Today's guys are looking at narrow notch lapels and shorter jackets. For the casual yet elegant and contemporary look, a suit is the perfect alternative. Perfect for rustic romance (are you learning all these new terms?) or breezy beach, monochromatic looks in grays, blues and oatmeal are perfect.
3. Keep Him Calm
Plan well in advance so you can have his favorite music ready in a playlist to listen to while he’s getting ready. Beer may be the drink of the day but healthy snacks and waters will keep the main man hydrated and alert so that he can be at his best. Jitters can bring on all sorts of ailments…so a back pack with an emergency kit may make you the hero! Don’t continually ask the groom if he’s “ok” or if he needs anything. This tends to make people more anxious. Try to be proactive by offering water, and confirming that the ring is where it’s supposed to be. Most importantly, make sure he gets to the ceremony on time!
4. Write your Speech in Advance
You may know every dark secret and every wild party story, but now is not the time! You will be proposing the first toast and this is NOT the place to share these moments. Be sure to share memories of both him and his bride in a way that no one will blush. Don’t be afraid to carry notes of your speech, as it’s very common to be a little jittery. Length of speech 5-7 minutes PLEASE! (this comes from one who has heard far too many long speeches of sad fishing trips and family disputes)
5. Carry Enough Cash with You
While it’s not your job to pay the staff, invariably, the groom may find himself short when he needs to tip the driver or bellman. Keep tabs so you can settle up after the honeymoon.
6. Stay Organized
Get a copy of the wedding plans and important dates and players. This way you’ll know what’s happening and be able to help your friend stay on his A game. You can also ensure the rest of the party have the right clothing and accessories, and you have the rings, marriage license and any other important documents.
7. Be a Gentleman
You may not realize this but you are acting on behalf of you friend, the groom. Once you ensure that your groom is ready to go, mingle for a bit and greet guests. During the evening, dance with the bride’s mother, the bride and the maid of honor. And please, be sure to let your date know that you will have other responsibilities during the wedding, so she won’t feel left out if you’ve got to calm any rough waters.
8. Decorate the Getaway Car
Be sure to ask the bridesmaids for a creative hand!
Most importantly, by being there for your groom, helping him be calm, relaxed, happy and most of all prepared, you will give him the gift of allowing him to be present to enjoy his incredible day!
Festivities is known for the finest in catered foods, sophisticated presentations and innovative event designs. For almost 30 years, this brother –sister team have kept their business on the cutting edge of food and event design. Multiple time winners of “Best of the Gold Coast”, Roe and Bill offer their clients a warm, customized experience when planning their most important celebrations.
Rosinne K. Chlala
Co-Owner/Event Consultant Festivities
203-847-7774
info@festivitiesevents.com
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Photograph by Kate Eiseman