Kids will be kids, and some may turn out to be as remarkable as the teens we feature on these pages every September. But meanwhile, here are some classic examples of their pint-sized views on life.
On Hospitality: Jane Kendall recalls her first Christmas pageant at Edie Bickell’s Nursery School. Little Janie had a screaming
tantrum because Jesus didn’t have a grandmother. And the innkeeper, Carl Walters, said to Mary and Joseph: “I’m sorry. There’s no room in the inn, but would you like to come in for a drink?”
On Curiosity: One Halloween, Dr. Jack Prunier lay down on an old examination table he’d rolled into the foyer of their house. When trick-or-treaters came in, he’d moan and slide a handout from under the sheet that his wife Suzanne, dressed as a witch, had draped over him. The older kids would take the candy and quickly back away. But one four-year-old boy earnestly asked: “Does he always sleep in the front hall?”
On Godliness: My little daughter Audrey and I were kneeling by her bed saying prayers: “Jesus, tender shepherd, hear me, bless thy little lamb tonight…” when she looked up and said: “You know, I love Jesus.” Then added with enthusiasm: “And I like his father, too!”
When visiting from Long Island, Kyle and Lauren Craig’s grandmother liked to stay at the Greenwich Hyatt and invite them for a sleepover. Fresh from religious education, the kids spotted her in the lobby and raced over, Lauren greeting her with “Glory to God in the Hyatt, Grandma!”
Eight–year-old Miles Patrick McDonald, who was brought into the world through modern technology, was taking religious instruction in preparation for Confirmation. For homework, the kids were asked to write a prayer to God. So, he wrote: “Dear God: I don’t know who my father is, but please let him go to heaven, whoever he might be— except if he’s Donald Trump.”
On Romance: Susan Ward had a little nephew who she was especially close to. When she told him that she was in love and going to be married soon, he replied: “What’s he got that I haven’t got?”
On Aging: The morning of her birthday, I woke up our daughter saying, “Happy Birthday, Audrey! You’re five years old today!” “Am I really five?” she asked, all excited. I assured her she was. “Oh, good,” she said. “I can go to school and beat up Sarah Sulger.”
On Driving: With my grandson in a car seat in back, I drove over to Waveny to check out the site for a photo shoot behind the building. Pulling in, I gave Misha his choice: He could come with me or stay in the car. It would only take a couple of minutes. “Oh, D-D, I better come with you,” he said, “or a policeman might think I drove the car here all by myself!”
On School: When Liz Hart asked daughter Lolly how her first day of nursery school went at the First Congo, the little girl replied: “Well, nobody laughed and nobody cried.”
On Honesty: After a nursery school play at Country Day, the headmaster sang the children’s praises in assembly: “That was just terrific,” he gushed. “I just don’t know how you ever did it.” And from the back of the room, loud and clear, came Billie’s voice: “We practiced and practiced, you idiot!” (“Billie,” now a married man, is still too embarrassed to own up to the story.)
On Generosity: Janie Galbreath and daughter Elizabeth were going through some old clothes she and her sister had outgrown. “Oh, what are we going to do with all these clothes?” she asked the seven-year-old, who promptly responded: “Let’s give them to that nice old man.”
“Who?” Janie asked, Wondering what older gentleman would want smocked dresses. “You know, Mom,” said Elizabeth. “Good old Will!.”
You can’t make this stuff up. Thanks for the memories, Kids.