The truth is.. a wedding is a community event..Your community! Everyone brings to your wedding day their hopes and dreams for you and your future. So how do you balance the need and right to have your wedding reflect all that you and your guy are and yet include those who love you and are sure that they have the answers you need?
Take a deep breath and step back… From your best friends who have attended lots and lots of weddings and who are steadfastly pursuing Pinterest for every great idea… to your mom who insists you include cousins twice removed… perspective is your friend.
The secret to a long and happy life with your new husband and friends and family is balance and planning. As you lay out all the details of your wedding celebration, think about your loved ones that you want to include and create special moments for them that will make them feel honored and included yet allow you to do the same for yourself.
Here are some examples: And by the way, these are all true stories!
1. Make it easy for your guests to find you!
Send along a welcome letter to those who are attending letting them know the plans for the weekend/ celebration. Your guests will remember feeling well taken care of.. a true mark of hosptialtity.
2. Grandma insists on “Ave Maria” being played at the wedding
Solution? As Grandma walks down the aisle, the musicians play “Ave Maria”. Grandma’s wish is honored without taking away from your dream to come down the aisle to a Stevie Wonder classic.
3. Between the two of you, you have four sets of parents that are looking for their moment in the sun
How do you make them feel special without making it all about them? For this couple, we designed a special candle ceremony with four different colors of sand. Each set of parents were invited up to pour their sand into the mix that surrounded the candle. The four sands created a very special foundation for the candle that represented the couple. Everyone felt special and that feeling of being honored and thought of brought a glow to all four sets of parents that carried them through the rest of the celebration.
4. You want to include everyone's favorite drinks at the bar
When creating your bar selection, check to ensure that when your loved ones come up to the bar they can order their favorite drink. You can’t please everyone, however, if Uncle John drinks Crown Royal.. have a bottle for him.. He will remember…
From the moment you get engaged, the amount of drama and stress you face will come from two places, outside you and your fiancé, and the stresses that you bring yourself. Trying to please everyone is not an enviable spot. Combined with the reality that planning your wedding is the first item that you and your fiancé will negotiate as you begin to plan your life as a couple, it can seem daunting.
A lot of the drama I've seen has come from how people choose to handle their weddings, or how they choose to handle themselves around other people's weddings. In my personal experience, the stuff I've seen go awry, in relationships, due to weddings, is because of expectations that one or both party have that aren't met, as well as how seriously people take their weddings. It comes down to the mix of personalities involved!
The best way to walk through the wedding planning maze unscathed is the obvious but not always considered.. be honest and thoughtful. Ask your parents, in-laws, and ex’s what they would like… consider their opinion.. you can explain that it may not work in the end because of circumstances but at least they will feel considered. Sometimes that is all someone needs.. to be heard
Festivities is known for the finest in catered foods, sophisticated presentations and innovative event designs. For almost 30 years, this brother –sister team have kept their business on the cutting edge of food and event design. Multiple time winners of “Best of the Gold Coast”, Roe and Bill offer their clients a warm, customized experience when planning their most important celebrations.
Rosinne K. Chlala
Co-Owner/Event Consultant Festivities
203-847-7774
info@festivitiesevents.com
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Photograph by Kate Eiseman