above: The Westport Library is a place of discovery, learning and exploration making it the ideal third space.
A Personal Journey to Finding A “Third Space” for Reflection and Growth
Do you have a “third space?” First of all, what exactly is a it, and why is there so much talk about finding one? In an era, thankfully, of more prolific conversations surrounding mental health and ways to encourage and stimulate healthy living, the idea of a third space—a term coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg in his 1989 book The Great Good Place—has resurfaced.
According to Oldenburg, third spaces are places where people can gather to socialize, relax and engage in informal activities. These spaces are not governed by the formal structures of home or work, and provide opportunities for community interaction, self-expression and creativity. The “third space” exists outside of the two primary spaces in our lives: home (the first space) and work or school (the second space).
The search for a third space is not simply about finding a physical location, but about discovering a place that fosters personal growth, community, and reflection—one that enables you to explore new ideas, connect with others, and step away from the pressures of daily life. It’s a sanctuary where you can embrace a journey of self-discovery and intellectual growth.
In today’s fast-paced, often divided world, the search for a third space has become increasingly essential. It could be a café, a library, or a park—neutral grounds where people can gather, reflect, and engage with their community. In the often chaotic, high-pressure world we live in, such moments of stillness are rare and invaluable. They allow us to step back and consider our values, priorities, and the world around us.
The beauty of a third space is that it traditionally transcends its conventional function. For me, that’s the Westport Library. On my first visit, it appeared to be what meets the eye—a library housing books. But over time, it became a place where I could step outside my routine, find peace, and allow myself the time and space to think. It provides a quiet, contemplative experience that contrasts with the constant demands of life. As I explored the space, I realized that the library was much more than a repository for books. It was a sanctuary for the mind. For me, this third space is not just a physical location but a mental one as well—a space to think freely and without constraint.
The Westport Library truly embodies the third space philosophy as a venue that welcomes a spectrum of ideas, experiences and perspectives, creating an environment where dialogue flourishes. In a world where we are often divided by our differences, the library offers a rare opportunity to come together—to learn from each other, appreciate each other’s perspectives, and reflect on our shared humanity. I’ve spent hours in that building, beautifully positioned on the Saugatuck River, writing stories just like this one, dreaming up podcast ideas, and even having the honor of speaking at a Startup Westport event, discussing content strategy and branding. I’ve attended several events, including the library’s inaugural Innovator of the Year Awards and an onstage interview with ESPN Chairman Jimmy Pitaro, hosted by ESPN’s Mike Greenberg. During the event, I immediately asked Pitaro to be on the cover of our magazine, and he agreed—right there in the library.
Whether it’s the simple act of sitting quietly and absorbing the beautiful view of the Saugatuck outside the library’s café window, participating in an event that sparks new ideas, or perusing the shelves to see what new books have arrived, you can find me there more often than some might think. It is a quiet, special, and unexpected space—and that is the essence of a third space. The library has become a space where I can grow intellectually and emotionally.
I encourage you to find yours. I can assure you there are plenty right here in Westport, Weston, and Wilton.
Some beloved places for self-reflection, connection and discovery
MoCA CT
A cornerstone of the Westport Arts Community for 50 years of exhibitions featuring performances from visual arts to classical music.
19 Newtown Turnpike, Westport
Studio Café
A delightful coffee bar featuring Spanish cuisine in a quirky setting filled with home décor items and innovative design.
15 Myrtle Ave., Westport
Rise Doughnuts
A cult-followed casual shop specializing in classic donuts and coffee. With lines out the
door until the donuts sell out on weekends, it is a respite during the week for writing and reading.
28 Center St., Wilton
The Westport Library
This library is a place of discovery, learning and growth, offering great books, amazing resources like Verso Studios and a Children’s Library and interactive play areas along with a café.
20 Jesup Rd., Westport
Wilton Library
A cultural and intellectual center that informs, enriches, connects and inspires our community.
137 Old Ridgefield Rd. , Wilton
GrayBarns on The Silvermine River
A haven of refuge, GrayBarns on the Silvermine River ia a gem as an inn and restaurant but also for the ability to access nature in a beautiful way.
194 Perry Ave., Norwalk
Terrain
The greenhouse café offers seasonally inspired brunch and dinner menus, alongside a thoughtfully curated store filled with everything apothecary items to tabletop décor.
561 Post Road E., Westport